I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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