Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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