I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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