ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
