I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
