Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
