before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
