She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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