omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
