but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
