Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
