I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I want to fling myself into the sun
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
