guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
