talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
