You're completely useless in the revolution.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
