I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize