That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
