so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm jealous of your bromance
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
