i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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