I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
