worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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