how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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