To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
