Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
