The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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