sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
