We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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