I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is Oprah even human
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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