That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
