Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
