Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
