I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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