I'm sorry my penis didn't work
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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