Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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