I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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