Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
