You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
