Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
