it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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