these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
