i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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