and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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