you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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