Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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