So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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