...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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