Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
