Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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