tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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