I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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