so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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