Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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