i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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