Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
