Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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