he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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