Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
