I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
