You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
