her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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